THE NOSES OF VOLVO

"Travelling in a car should be a pleasant experience for the nose as well."

These are the words of Patrik Libander, a Volvo engineer in charge of the smell test panel. Yes, the smell test panel.


Volvo has two four-man teams responsible for applying exhaustive smell tests on their cars. Efforts to build a device that could take the place of a human nose - or eight human noses - have failed. Capable humans are vetted as seriously as dogs for the K9 units of police forces. You must have a sense of smell in tune with others in your group; be sensitive but not overly so; and be a non-smoker.

Why is Volvo obsessed with scent? Say they, " The interior of a modern vehicle contains many different materials that contain chemical substances. While most of these substances remain locked in the material, small quantities can evaporate, creating that “new car smell”. The panel monitors these substances and the smells they may cause in the cabin." When a team sets forth to sniff out an interior, the car must rate no higher than a 3 to pass the test. A rating of 1 indicates no noticeable smell, while a 6 is unbearable.

The testers also make use of a sunshine simulator that brings up the temperature of the interior. Next, equipment is used to test for Total Volatile Organic Compounds. Only then does the team hop in and sniff from a human perspective.

Volvo's have always been known as the perfect vehicles for families with dogs. The connection between beast and Volvo is now clear.

GCBC'S POPULAR STUFF

GoodCarBadCar's been live since March of this year. During that time, one post instantly - and constantly - maintained a reign as the most popular piece by The Good Car Guy. The title?

"Same Old Same Old But Better Than Ever"

The subject? Honda's venerable Civic. It's a test drive article; something called Driven here at GCBC. But, I noticed something interesting recently. So entwined is North America, and the United States of America more specifically, with pickup trucks, that when a truck is in trouble, people take notice.

That's exactly what people did here on GCBC when the Ford F-series came under recall. So many people took notice, in fact, that in less than two weeks of existence, the F-series post knocked the Civic off its perch.

Curious what else made the podium, ye are. The Top 5 Cars Police Should Be Driving narrowly edged out Dodge's Journey Must Make Inroads, which has been a surprisingly steady member of the top five since its September publishing.

CANADA'S ecoAUTO REBATE

The Government of Canada's initiative to put more people into fuel efficient vehicles by giving them money sees a rearranging of models for year 2008. The list, with the cashback value, is below.

$2000
Toyota Prius
Honda Civic Hybrid
smart fortwo (coupe and convertible)
Ford Escape Hybrid (front and all-wheel drive)
Saturn Vue Hybrid

$1500
Toyota Camry Hybrid
Nissan Altima Hybrid
Toyota Highlander Hybrid

$1000
Toyota Corolla
Toyota Yaris (hatch and sedan)
Mini Cooper (and Clubman)
Honda Civic (coupe and sedan)
Honda Fit
Lexus RX400h
Jeep Compass (2.0L w/CVT and 2.4L manual tranny)
Jeep Patriot (2.0L w/CVT and 2.4L manual-tranny)
Chevrolet HHR
Nissan Rogue

FLEX FUEL VEHICLES $1000
Chevrolet Impala
Dodge Avenger
Chrysler Sebring

BMW xDrive50i

Sure, 400 bhp and 450 lb-ft of torque sounds sweet. Two turbochargers on a BMW V8 combining to generate the power? Tasty indeed. But BMW's X6, with awkward model names like xDrive50i and xDrive35i (300bhp 3.0L twin-turbo six), must compete in-house before it even considers conquest sales. Could this be the German version of the Isuzu VehiCross, Suzuki X90, or Chevrolet Tahoe 2-door?

Reminiscent of Porsche's scheme with the incredible Cayman, the X6 will battle the X5, 5-series wagons, and even the X3. In fact, the oddities of buyers who purchase a vehicle like this will be proven by their cross-shopping with other versions of the 'newest and latest'. The Cayman is hardtop only, whereas the Boxster allows you to drop the top. The Cayman is a better performer, but not so much as to demand such a price increase. It mightn't be as pretty, either.

The X6 poses similar issues. It's an impractical, niche product that may be better than an X5 on the road, but not so much as to necessitate the purchase of an expensive and, dare I say it, ugly duckling. Yes, it's true. From some angles, the X6 is stunning....ly awful. Not to say there won't be interested parties.


This BMW is the newest and latest thing, after all. And it happens to offer a V8 engine that could have federal environment ministers seeking new portfolios. Industry; or perhaps Public Works or Transport. Some place where gas guzzling is permitted. This 4.4L will want to play.

I wanted to hold my tongue. I tried. But the pictures of this dog are everywhere, and it was eating at my insides. Apologies to the designer.

THE TATA XJR?

Consider it a safe assumption that you'll never see an XJR, XK, or XF rebadged as a Tata. Reports are also pushing speculation into safe assumptions that Tata is about to land Jaguar and Land Rover for $2,000,000,000, however.

Time the purchase of Ford Motor Company's remaining British outposts with the debut of a $2,500 People's Car, too. Then again, the Tata Group also owns hotels with rates as high as $2,795 per night in Mumbai, charter planes for Bollywood stars, and high-end jewellery stores, in addition to Tetley Tea, Tata AIG Life, Tata Cummins, and Tata McGraw Hill. Head honcho Ratan Tata says that when a company is bought by the Tata Group, things remain the same, "except now it's owned by someone in India".

If Tata truly is successful in this purchase, we should hear by the end of 2007. Another Indian company, Mahindra & Mahindra, was a bidder for Jaguar, along with One Equity Partners.

For Jaguar bosses, the worst part of the news is the extra 1,000 miles in their commute to company headquarters. India is a lot farther away than Michigan.

HUMMER JAPAN

You may've already heard about General Motors decision to send Hummer on a fast ship to Japan. Yes, Japan.

Japan is not the country where the Ford F-series outsells everything and the ever-growing Camry is the best-selling car. No, folks, Japan is the country where the Honda Fit is attempting to wrest the best-selling crown from the Toyota Corolla. Japan is not the country where legislators are trying to... er, legislate 35mpg standards while others moan and complain and try to negotiate with OPEC. No, Japan is the country where citizens receive tax breaks for driving very small cars with very small engines. You know the kind - 0.8L engines. 800cc's.

That sounds like the perfect market for Hummer. Sure, it'll be the H3, the brand's smallest member. Cadillac/Saab dealers will host their brutish affiliate.

"This looks like Hummer country, don't it Bob?".... "I believe it is, Mr. Wagoner, I believe it is."

And I have a feeling. I think I see the method to their madness. Japan's population is in decline. Attempts at incentivizing multi-child families haven't taken hold quite yet. So.... Hummer's plan? As the humans disappear and the land opens up, the remaining few will want bigger vehicles. They'll want to climb Mt. Fuji and safely deal with the snows of Hokkaido - where the depopulation is greatest - and a Honda Fit or Mitsubishi i won't cut the mustard.

Smart folks; those GM product planners. Smart folks.

TOP 5 MERCEDES GIFTS

The service departments at most automotive dealerships now offer at least some form of a 'gift shop', although sometimes it's hidden on one shelf behind the parts counter. You can have your Subaru WRX rally toque or a miniature Porsche 911 with whaletail spoiler.

Or.... you can buy your gifts (for yourself, I might add) before you even leave the business office. After visiting the Mercedes-Benz USA website, I came up with the most interesting - and most interestingly priced - options I could find. Spoil yourself the next time you buy an E-class. Go get yourself somethin' nice. You deserve it. Here's the GoodCarBadCar Top 5.


5- Electronic Trunk Closer: Select this on an E350, Benz's middle sedan, and you'll have a feature that "allows you to electronically close a fully open trunk lid without touching it. Push a button in the cabin or inside the trunk, and the lid closes itself." $530.00, just $520.00 on an SL55 AMG.

4- Sheepskin Wash Mitt: Do you typically buy your home-car goods from the real-estate agent? Mercedes figures you'll trust them to know how to produce the perfect car-washing mitt. It will, as they say, "capture dirt and grime, and reduce paint surface scratches. Large shape and elasticized wrist comfortably accommodates all hand sizes." That good ol' one size fits all definitely makes the $14.00 seem appropriate.


3- P30 Performance Package: The SL55 AMG is quick, but you want fast as well. Upping the limiter to 186mph, while also adding 19" wheels, a new front bumper, retuned Active Body Control, larger brakes, and a limited slip-diff will be useful. I think. It'll cost $14,070. And you will sound so cool when your friend says, "So you picked up an SL55 AMG, huh?" And you reply, "Yeah, I really thought the P30 Performance Package would be a nice addition. The electronic trunk closer, too."

2- Tire Valve Stem Caps: "...these chrome plated ABS valve stem caps dress-up any wheel. Each a set of four. Available in black, silver or AMG." Yes, AMG is a colour. It means the AMG logo on a silver background, don't you know? For $15.00, it's safe to say these valve stem caps are a steal. You'll want them for your ML63 AMG.

1- Illuminated Door Sills: Considering the fact that you just decided to buy Mercedes least expensive sedan, the C300, you better dress it up. "Light up your C-Class in eye catching style every time you open the front doors with these luminous blue-colored "Mercedes-Benz" stainless steel door sills. Available in a set of 2 for the front." They'll charge you $670.00, but you do get the set of two. Quite generous.